I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
