My first STD was from a foam party
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
