i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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