her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
