you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
