For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
