Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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