what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
