Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
