your room smells of hookers.
And success
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
