Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
