her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
