The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
