i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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