I hope mine doesn't look like that
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
