he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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