its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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