come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
