Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
