why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
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