What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
