I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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