her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
