Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
