You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Randomize
