"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
