what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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