yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
