FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
