yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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