just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
