Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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