My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
