Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
