I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
