She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You are a booty call, not a friend.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
