It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
