So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
