omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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