Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This is not my ceiling
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
