My friends, they love my intelligence
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
