"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
