I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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