Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
