I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
