I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
