my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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