I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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