ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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