i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
